Overcompensate
Fighting with my insecurities
I’ll commonly make the worse
Decisions possible
Food will be my best friend
Telling me I’d look good in the
Fashion Plus world
Just so I’m the talk of town I’ll
Hide my inner monster and turn
Into fun Jane with alcohol
I will be absolutely loud and
Obnoxious trying to overcompensate
My weirdness
I’d take the fifth amendment most
Of the time claiming I really do have
The right to remain silent
Best of all, I get crazy with
The mirror plucking, pulling, combing,
Brushing or even adjusting
Circles
When I go on and on about
Their faults about
How they drink entirely too much
Probably see other men
You yell too much
How lazy you’ve become
You have too many girlfriends
You’re more selfish than most
You spend too little time with so and so
How you consider cleaning boring
How you pick too many fights
How your lack of goals is effortless
How you borrow cars with no thanks
How they washed your dishes again
How they never help buy anything
How terrible parents they are
How they could have done this
Or that, better, neater,
More finesse or other faults!
I turn these words into a vicious
Cycle going around to me that’s
A never ending war. Sorry.
Then my words spread like a fire. The
Flames burning not only my soul but
You and those in my circle of fire+
Alcohol Aisle
I frown at the alcohol aisle.
Wishing anyone who
walked near the aisle would trip and crack
their head and
never drink again-
the terror in the soul when
one drinks becomes more
it becomes my horror movie
with fright, jumps, intensity and scares!
turn it around with popcorn and pickle though can
help-
Oh I dread that aisle.
How much terror it has caused and
will continue to do
Power of The Box
The hype of the box can make us go mad
Or it could make us extremely sad
We penetrate our minds with boggled junk
Attracted to models or some masculine hunk
Some common bonds are from the live shows
Along with the sports we watch with the bros
Smothered with commercials we’re drowned by the ads
Making transitions or the latest in fads
The truth can hurt more than the evening time flick
Because we’ll watch or rent for our own favorite chick
Evening news stories gives no real hope
Actually hanging on by a gas fired rope
Little good they show because it don’t matter
Head corporate wallets only get bigger and fatter
We’re sucked in with comedy, drama and lust
Which is with us forever behind mystery or bust
Wanting their lives we shrivel to clay
Turning on with remote practically everyday
Predator
Air to the wind thought Mr. Dave
Throwing everything away he got him a slave
Hundreds years younger he gained her trust
Even allowed him some pelvic thrust
Her still growing he did not care
Others before her did not dare
This true he’s fucked because his mom knows best
In jail he will stay and die simple rest
Rotten Fruit
You squeeze violence out of orange
Juice you can get the seeds
You cut it then its all over the
Place with stench
You spread the juice then many
Think its common
The peelings should be kept on
Along with tangerines, mandarins,
Apples, peaches and grapefruits
Tangerines are the jealous fruits
Mandarins the greedy fruits
Apples are the envy fruits
Peaches are the sexual fruits
Grapefruits are the revengeful
Murderous fruits
You make a fruit salad all
Hell breaks loose
Gather those seeds and forget the
Cutting and the juice
Sadly, it happens
They have their own fears with imagination unseen
Who will ever know if they will seek a soul so clean
A low blow to them is as common as a shower
Being cold to the world is their own way to tower
Attracted to them is wicked partners of the alike
A war against them then they step away from the mic
You think they changed as the years have gone by
Not at all surprised you just figuratively shake why
Sheeps Clothing
Under the store of blank hid the impossible of kind gesture
Feeding on my terror kept filling his madness with more manure
Most of my instincts told me my desperations not that bad
Little rendezvous vibe thrown in years so I invite him to my pad
Where is your car looking in the parking lot of very few
A wanderer of death my last day here on earth was way undue
Small town murder
They say it’d never happen in this ole town
Everyone knew each other and what went down
Churches were on practically every block
Such sadness increased with the outline chalk
Who would murder such a beautiful thing
In the middle of junior high with what to bring
No reason at all, this can’t be true
Speculations arose but practically everyone knew
Snobbery Dead
I shoved some light up some priss
Made them pucker into lovely kiss
Burped out their misery of selfish mold
Rang their tears out when blanket cold
Shared their fortunes with elves and shrimp
Polished the clothes down to sour grape pimp
Pain of snobbery I killed with such glee
Epidemic ran course because snobbery choked free
Stay inside
I stay inside form uncomfortable glances
From pre-conceived judgments
From the awkward confused
From blood thirsty mosquitoes
From the sick spreading their illness
From cigarettes, alcohol and drugs
From the wretched evil pain of inhumanity
I stay inside to hide my warrior ness
Stubborn
I question forgiveness and wonder why many don’t
Makes matters worse for whenever they don’t
A stubborn bear will stay in its shell
Ballooning their head and making it swell
It only gets worse as time goes by
Truth gets denied and everything’s a lie
Just say sorry and let anger be gone
Start new and fresh at every new dawn
I don’t even like to see you this way
Like a rotting tooth ready to fall from decay
So brush away that plaque of stinkin’ rot
Look past your wall and see what you got
Suffocated
My killer and I crossed years before
One Fourth of July I needed to score
Bringing only quarters and cigs I was ready to play
Little would I know I’d be his victim of prey
I played with his mind wanting his wallet
He seen me as easy, one who can’t really call it
Exposing my weakness he buys me my wants
Later regretting that these will be my haunts
So to himself he has no one real close
Obviously the same he’s my new heavy dose
A heavy closet temper comes with a half rack
Hardly did I dare to ever have him to my back
Nor talk to another who I thought cute
Only to hear hours of infuriating dispute
One times too many I’d be frightened from words
I knew already he killed women by the herds
Silent I was forced or he’d threaten with eyes
No longer with him he sharpens my highs
Scared I would tell he visits my place
My suffocation--many never will embrace
Talking Trash
Deceptive to sting bites of blood with utter chaos
In their web you’ll go and be fed for toss
Everyone an enemy gets absolutely no attention
They pop your pride with words of prickling pin
Deceptively acting with Oscars at hand most days
Secretly imitating everything about your magnetic ways
Not a sense of common lick you wonder of this fish
Back away from them then they pour out their gibberish
Round two begins with lies fabricated even more sour
Where the talking trash goes forever about last hour
Thall shall not
No matter how great I felt
Beautiful I felt
Sexy I felt
Smart I felt
Nice I felt
Wonderful I felt
Cute I felt
It never melted the emotional
Distraught of nowhere to go-
I thought I felt better because
I was a forbidden Goddess-
How inhumane I feel when I
Thought I wanted to be that
Forbidden Goddess-
Heads flew, guitar strings broke,
Melodies were silent and all
Control ripped like
An old t-shirt
How messy flesh can leave scars
Throughout time
temptation burns our soul
burns starting with
full candle but dies
out with all the wax burnt
and nothing but shredded
wax
jump onto an iceberg
and avoid the fire
throughout time we’ve
been this burning candle
now we’re on an iceberg
away from any fire
temptations burning us
already
we need to decide if we’ll go
to that iceberg
before we’re shredded wax
You’re out
I hope you feel better
You’re a jackass
I hope you feel better
You’re a drunk
I hope you feel better
You’re a shoulder dander
I hope you feel better
You’re the zit on my ass
I hope you feel better
Your health is great
I hope you feel better
You’re alone- all alone
I hope you feel better
Your greatest love is you
I hope you feel better
You’re off my shit list
I hope you feel better
You’re out of my life
100* Temper
Careful with words I choose so wisely in mind
A great deal of time I’m carefully being real kind
Out of proportion he’ll interpret with exaggeration blown
With no hesitation there’s soon many a broken bone
Elements of drugs and alcohol increase the volcanic beast
Flaring to a maniac with sociopath emotions of cold deceased
Respect I give remembering the fuse is short indeed
Because I know that fist of the knockouts do bleed
Alcohol my friend
My best friend tells me lots of things
That I’m universally powerful over numerous kings
He also says headaches are gone with him there
Number of his buddies anxiously join with despair
Dancing on their behalf I tumble and break
Friends getting real nervous for minutes I’m unawake
Two more buddies left I need more right now
Telling me more good stuff I just don’t know how
Friends enjoying my company in the old truck
Pulled over by the sheriff- my friends are bad luck
All an act
was this the nice part or the
part that wanted something
out of me nice?
can’t tell anymore if he
wants to be good or just
trying to put on an act
testing him I said no
he walked off screaming
I’m a bitch anyways
for sure I know he wanted
something but its always
an around case type of thing
why the sociopath attitude
I don’t get it anymore
more than usual anyways
are his compassionate brain
cells fried up along with his
common sense cells
just to make it clear
be on your toes with his
manipulations and temper
An earful of help
I pour my heart into your lava of pain
Never again shall you feel bubbled insane
I swallow your words and play around with your head
Digging your past and what will come to shred
Pickling in thoughts you wander through doors
Opening up waters through many oceans of shores
You fathom your options seeking what is best
Speculating ends and where you want your nest
I say very little while you drown in quick sand
Nothing stays bottled or heavily canned
Revive you I have with only words and two ears
Keeping your energies away from drugs ‘n beers
Annoyance
Annoyed to be around them, I can inflame my grouchiness
Finding myself a bomb ripping heads with no calmness
Every word from them is poison- you think are they real
Your constant unliking says this you should not feel
Only respect itself keeps me from yelling fuck off forever
Or knocking them cold with a wooden made lever
Behind the breath of few I secretly act out my disgust
Only to remember their brain functions on only one cell dust
Barrier of Trust
You knocked down the wall that once held our trust
Now as my enemy I demand us to keep down this bust
Go away now this feeling of hurt will always be here
Unlike before you were me in that long lost mirror
Where’d we go wrong or where’d we even freakin’ start
This feud of World War III somehow scaled off the chart
Interpreting your words as lies to my skin flowing deep
Every whisper from your breath is disgustingly cheap
Beer I am
Started as a hop I grew for a purpose
Then I was shipped, with hardly no fuss
With many flavors I’m big in command
On millions of rocks is where I proudly stand
Cans and bottles is my predominant home
But it is beer bellies where I permanently roam
I stay clear from the sodas and the juices of sort
Little can I do to make them give up their fort
Certainly I’ve proven to pen even the dullest
And caused some accidents on even the coolest
I even have a meeting named especially for me
Where many do come and desire to flee
Many do fail and only come back for more
Who knows what reason, I always do score
Big Man
Coward, where’d you pick up this trait
You even started as early as when I was eight
I can’t comprehend the space of our walls
Even fear in mom no one heard my calls
Disturbed, disturbed mostly you I think why
Bastard in hell you go I will not cry
Blue Moods
Staring at the wall
moving in and
caving
me in-
but scared
of being there too
long. Why am I talking to
myself? Is this pain or suffering?
Give
me freedom
from unthinkable hurt
where I’ll smile easily, walk
with no tension and care again about
everything from family to nature
from wanting another
air of fresh air-
Please
Boiling
unnoticed everywhere like a
ghost in a crowded room
shaved the beard, eat well, have
a nice car and even dress nice
no acknowledgement though- making
the world smaller so I feel bigger
I’ll make them notice me tomorrow
by doing some thing extreme and huge
what to do…what shall I do to
make myself scene in the world
frustration of anger kept boiling
I wanted to be a human too
fuck all of you! tomorrow I’m coming
with a steroid new version of me
that very next day I moved
I moved to where they’d notice
before I drove I decided to leave
them all behind and forget them
Borderline Insanity
Shoved in the corner I stare for hours
More pills to take those birds look like towers
My nurse is undercover I know I’m next to go
What they don’t know I’ll physically show
They say I’m paranoid but this world will end
Playing fun card games I easily do blend
Borrowing
The book you let them
read
The money they for sure
would pay back
The car that was
returned empty
The shirt you never
seen again
The ladder that’s
next door
The favorite pair of
fingernail clippers
The bowl that you
seen in her cupboard
You never forget who,
when or what- you
just know you’ll
never see it again
and never let them
borrow again
Bounce
you sucked out the innocence and
purity that should have waited
till she was a full grown adult
now she’s going to be affected
for the rest of her life that
can’t be erased from memory
you can make balls bounce
but you take a sharp pin
and deflate the bounce to it
a time will come when
your justice will be that
pin deflating your bounce
it won’t be me, her or anyone
else but you know who
and it will be unexpectingly quick
Chaos
My brother took my car
I shall not speak to him
My sister owes me $200
I won’t talk to her
He said she said
They’re always getting drunk
Why are you talking to her
Put it on the calendar she
Actually helped clean
Does he ever quit eating
Who took my dollar
I always have to buy
Give me back my money
Touch me again your ass is
on the floor
Its your turn to do it
Why do I have to its their kids
You’re so fat quit eating
Subtle as it may be, loathing
Can creep in the shadows
Coercion
Watch the deceit in front and back
Its there
Watch the lies unfold with drama
Its there
Watch subtle fighting turn to wars
Its there
Watch power collide with intense greed
Its there
Watch the struggles of coercion before you
Its there
Delicate matter
A child afraid is one too many
This duty I feel is forcefully uncanny
I shall move this child in a loved home
Where they’re raised as a child in a playful dome
They won’t face fear or hunger on my clock
Just living their age with others to flock
Dictator
I got fat off the land
I got smarter in a smartass world
I got arrogant in a cocky society
I got angry when someone invaded my fat
I got jealous when one were to be smarter
I felt hate when they’d try to be bigger
Men under me, looking up to me and behind me
Anything, anytime at the snap of my fingers
Drunkard
he’ll go on about his every
anger on the shelf or what
I need to work on
he’ll stumble everywhere hitting
his head every now and then
he’ll call every woman he sees
beautiful except you
he’ll be the person you
never imagined yourself ever
wanting to be with and/or worse
he’ll tell you he only had a few
and that he’s not too bad
he’ll show you exactly why
drinking is terrible and
that one day down the
road there isn’t going to
be a next time with me
or maybe anyone else
Empty heart, Empty taste
A woman she’s not, she has real low morale
Not a friend to her name, not one single pal
A fun night for her is hurting another guy
Lying to his face and saying all love is pie
Only to leave him and never call him again
True love she can’t find or never knew when
She roams the earth with clouds in her brain
Making it worse and always feeling hurt pain
She conforms to little and does nothing much
Going to another and hungering for his touch
Envy
Skin is smooth and silky fine
Their car is nicer probably goes 99
Everyone talks to them I have not one soul
They look like a statue not one hideous mole
They traveled everywhere I go no place far
If they could get a mate why am I the hardy har
Clothes real nice I bet they’re spendy cool
House that big is there a backyard pool
That much money I could buy lots of things
They have many carats on all their rings
Evil One
In hell you’ll stay, that’s where you belong
You’ve done no good and only played up the wrong
Animals fear you cuz you’re so damn cold
You never listened to anything told
A joke to you was having a dead foe
Or being real greedy with loads of dough
Too dark you are and only insane
Causing loads of chaos and hurtful pain
Burn in your wrath and rest in stone
Down to your flesh and your very last bone
Fight
Drying the tears with the Sahara heat
In comes the support team, oh what a fleet!
Men are the devils speaking openly free
Black white to them why no colors do see
turned in spirals what was the main point
Left in a scurry taking the last happy joint
First boiling from anger now frozen from shock
Rattling the brain with every second of the clock
First time
with your own eyes you’ve
scene- or some call it
witness an act of crime
right in front of you!
you casually turn
away quickly as if this
didn’t really just go down
it did- then you do the
curious question of did
you see my wallet?
others look mysteriously
but this guys nervous
looking straight but
towards this way with peripheral
maybe $5-8 and an old picture
of mom- he took it
yes he did and I let him
that was the first time
I was robbed and seen
a criminal at work
Fix
its not that you’ve tried with
all your might
or that you never listened
they could care less what
you feel or what you have
to say today or tomorrow
their drive in life right now is
their next fix and
any means in doing so
you could loan them all the
money in the world and it’d
never help them one bit
all it’d do is drag out their
nasty habit of them
wearing you down even more
rehabilitation might
help depending on their
level of desperation
lies, deception and ugliness is
what you’ll continue to get if
they never get help- complete hell
Flinch
I thought he was starting to hit me again
Such a man he was- when I was ten
Flashbacks of terror I only see his eyes
He never did care not hearing my cries
Not a soul within reach I screamed only inside
Most of the time I’d just want to hide
Coming to terms with alcohol came early
Never again will I find something girly
Grown up young I never wanted to stay
Nuns would praise me wanting me to pray
Today I’m okay and blessed with clues
I know well enough the great people I choose
Forget you
I thought you cold, you heartless pig
I thought you wrong, you’re full of swig
Now we laugh and smile at all
Always catching each others downfall
I thought you wrong, you filthy swine
Never again shall we go out and dine
Graveyard guidance
I downed a case of natural ice beers
Drove in my truck with smiles and cheers
I passed on double lines with fingers crossed
Somewhere is my quarter I think I lost
Picking up speed to the next tavern bar
When a lunatic car slowly crushes me far
Circles happen and bangs shatter down
With their guidance I’m in the graveyard town
Guilt Free
Is there such a feeling of guilt
in your heart
Because you’re so wicked in
the mind so apart
Things you’ve done would
shake many heads
Even roll the eyes of
where you ventured in beds
I guess its an asset you
hardly ever think twice
Of many due consequences
in your game of dice
Hate burnt you black
Unwilling to participate in life was wrong
Dirt of a corpse you were with no melody song
Victims were nothing but your pleasure of rid
One less torment you thought, taking less of your grid
No emotional light you unconsciously grew fierce
Meddling with dark forces in body you would pierce
Seek your own planet of burnt dust and dark clouds
Alone from everyone else and far from any crowds
Hidden terror
Can’t stand it, won’t stand it or will attempt it
I’m not the actor of mighty Shakespeare Hamlet
Who knows where his hands have been probably full of shit
I know there’s mice in there like a dungeon brightly lit
What??!! Talk to them with this monstrocious zit
Eat some of this dessert…no way-- I’m trying to be fit
I’m never going to fail I shall never ever quit
No make-up in the public on that I surely do spit
In the public again this is more than just a bit
Overnight I aged thousands along with ass and tit
Yeah I’ll swim in the deep part with a lifeguard kit
Cobwebs all over I know they’re sure bound to hit
You’re leaving me- I thought we had the perfect love skit
I’m still alive! I’m still alive! Get me out of this dirt pit
Naked they all see me this is just a horror movie of clit
This can’t be my final day…this just can’t be it
Can’t stand it, won’t stand it or will attempt it
Hunters
countless melodies
towards the skies
rockets of pillows to
soften the lies
where’s the women who
spread for small cash
or the men who laugh
at the sight of hard lash
amusing the wolves
the sheep didn’t run
away from the teeth
of the enemies gun
in the attic the
praise will go hide
with dust collected
until the hunters come find
Hypocrite
telling me to do this and that
but
you- you of all people
murk stained blood rot
like a heinous rat
you- you the adulterous
who steals purity,
lies to find arguments,
curses God for your selfishness
you let your guard
down by the overkill of
repeating my weaknesses
but
it was my reality telling
me to say leave without
looking back to your spite
I hate her
I hate her I hate her
She drives me insane
I hate her I hate her
She’s arrogantly so vain
I hate her I hate her
She smothers my ass
I hate her I hate her
She’s made of dark glass
I hate her I hate her
She’s jealously low
I hate her I hate her
Unattractive she don’t know
I hate her I hate her
Why don’t she leave
I hate her I hate her
She’s now my pet peeve
I hate her I hate her
The way she got old
I hate her I hate her
She suddenly came cold
I NEED TIME TO CALM MYSELF
Go away and leave me alone
Just for right now there’s no dial tone
I don’t want to hurt you with ugly mean words
One after another going fast like sheep herds
Give me time to think and let me straighten my thoughts
Everything’s blurry like millions of dots
Right now I’m confused and only anger comes first
I could pull hair and even make my head burst
So for right now could you just leave me be
Before I turn violent and have moves like Bruce Lee
Give up the notion we’ll have a deep talk
Mother natures calling and she said take a walk
If I had money
As a false greatness, money in my
Reach would be disastrous
I’d break off ties with my family and friends
Who are wanting to borrow excessively
I’d have extravagant luxurious homes,
Condos or suites across the world
I’d have garages built for the
Many endless cars I’ve collected
I’d slothfully party all the time and
Have sleazy multiple partners
I’d give caution to the wind with
Casual cocaine, arrogant alcohol and much more
I’d arrogantly flash my wealth with
Endless jewelry and fine clothing
I’d have only rich friends who would
Also vainly have business meetings
I’d always try to out do them too so
The ooohhs and ahhhhs are for me only
I’d pay anyone at any level so I’d
Never be in the nets of the law
Most of all, I’d love money the most
Because that’s my source of happiness
Through the cracks others would
Fall if they try to take my happiness
Is It True
Is it true you stabbed her in the back
That she slept with another in your own Cadillac
You hated her so much you murdered her cold
Planning so carefully you knew this’d unfold
Or is it true you killed out of your greed
To take the insurance- some scandalous deed
Bills to the sky you needed a fix out
Till death do you part, I’m sure now she has doubt
Joke
You’re not funny
Never were
You try to be but they
Laugh to make you feel better
Pay attention next time
To see if any of them have
Real laughs with genuine
Aching laughs- I’m trying to help you
KILL OR BE KILLED
days have gone by when I feel so misplaced
where my heart has turned black and all I’ve done was disgraced
my shame only piled so I turned around what I’ve done
making all better by shooting bad with my gun
knocking away the emptiness like I was an ox
letting out my feelings instead of in an empty box
I’ve explored better ways to avoid risky fights
leaving out anger which only stings and bites
I try to remember it really does no good
stepping in their shoes and right where they stood
gave it my all instead of a slow turtle walk
rather than being hunted i watch my prey like a hawk
My Addiction
I’ll take this vow and cement it forever
Because it is something I can not endeavor
It’s ruined my life in practically every way
I’ve wanted much more by even attempting to pray
Kidding myself with hopes that I will win
Knowing I’ve wronged from the very tempting sin
I’m very addicted and know I’ll do harm
Not only to myself but many others by alarm
I had every intention of just tripling then go
But in mere minutes I end up with no dough
Sadly leaving as an empty broke bum
Knowing I was a fool for being so dumb
A lesson I didn’t learn practically thousand$ ago
Will forever haunt my future with a very low blow
I tell you this now I can’t fight this bad drug
Just three feet more and I’ll be halfway all dug
Cold turkey I’ll attempt and it will be a battle
From the sensation of casinos, so hard to paddle
My struggle
I’ve slowly gained weight and I can’t seem to fight
When it comes to sweets I just have no might
My commitment to Ballys only faded to dust
Only working off a bite of gingerbread crust
This will soon change when I’m repulsed by myself
No longer hiding candy on the very top shelf
Or drinking up pop like it was nutritious
From this day forward I’ll find more delicious
Not some candy that’ll stick to my chin
Or cakes or cookies feeling like such a sin
No longer will I feel bad for eating all wrong
But exercising faithfully so I can be strong
Nightmare
I dreamt of you last night once again
Never in dream history has this ever been
Real to the touch but very shady in words
Once again we run like headless chicken herds
Is there any percentage to this cloud of life
Surely not so or Mr. Sandman gets the knife
I fear my mind for its horrid tales of shut eye
Clearly makes me ponder getting lesser zzz’s when I lye
Ridiculous I am for Nostradamous I’m not
A mere grain of something is more than I got
No compassion
Concern for another was never in their heart
Anger was their defense around anyone smart
They lie to your face with a smilish grin
Even take the knife out of your back and even then spin
A thank you or sorry would burn fire to their tongue
Respect means nothing because their harmony goes unsung
What feeds their behaviors is beyond one’s belief
Don’t expect them to be there when you are in grief
Or even there when you’re feeling your worse
For them its just heartless and continual discourse
No soul
skin crawling, hairs on the back
of neck raise
sense of uneasiness or terrible
anger
ugly chills around a being with
no soul can be awkward and unpleasant
a feeling
there’s this sixth sense feeling
always there guiding you to be on your
guard against the drenching pain of
one with no soul dangerously around
the corner
wanting to do who knows what
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